Episode 03 · 2026-05-14 · 0:52

The actual definition of gaslighting.

"Gaslighting is a specific, sustained, intentional pattern of psychological manipulation — not ordinary disagreement. Misusing the term costs the people who actually experience it."

Episode hero

Timestamps

0:00What gaslighting is not
0:04The clinical definition
0:18What it isn't — three common confusions
0:30Where it actually shows up
0:42Why the misuse matters

Resources mentioned

Gaslighting: a sociological concept worth taking seriously · Sweet 2019 (American Sociological Review)
Clear academic treatment of the term — useful counter to internet usage.
Coercive control: a definitional and conceptual review · Stark 2007
The framework that gives 'gaslighting' its clinical home.

Take-aways

01Gaslighting is deliberate, systematic, and reality-targeting.

Three words. Drop any one and you're describing something else.

02Disagreement is not manipulation.

Someone holding a different account of events isn't gaslighting you. Conflating the two breaks language and breaks people.

03Words matter clinically.

When the term inflates, the people who are actually experiencing coercive control lose the language they need to name it.

myth-bustinglanguagecoercive-controldefinitions